It pains me— I think 'irritate' is the word—when I'm walking calmly on the road, engrossed in my own thoughts, plugging my ears away from the hustle and bustle of Enugu, listening to some cool music, pretending not to notice the scotching sun roasting my delicate skin, and you walk up to me, with no excuse or polite greeting, demanding I tell you my name. It's pathetic how common this is, that it makes me wonder whether it's the boys or Enugu. I have even developed a spontaneous snippy and sassy attitude that comes on immediately I hear 'hello' from the opposite sex while I'm on the road.
The one that annoys me most and I don't get how some people can be 'so dumb and still breathe' (quoting Andrew Wommack) is when in the middle of a red traffic light, I'm trying to cross quickly before it turns green, and I hear someone in a car calling me to come to him. One day, I had actually crossed this large and busy road and the guy in the jeep was asking me to cross over again to meet him. Did he really think I was so stupid?
This is getting out of hand, boys. I think we need to talk.
It is not a sin to look at a lady and admire her (it is only a sin when you start to lust). Neither is it a taboo to walk up to a lady on the road. (But please, guys, it is definitely an eyesore, a taboo and an abomination to tell a lady to risk her life crossing the road to meet you, a total stranger, while you relax in your air conditioned car. You really must be crazy to do that)
And a simple polite greeting doesn't cost much, does it?
I don't mean 'baby what's up? ' And let me assume we are decent enough not to hiss at a lady.
What's wrong with 'excuse me, please? Good evening'?
A polite greeting will do two things for you
1. It will stop the lady
2.She'll give you a listening ear
Then please, follow it up with introducing yourself. How do you expect me to feel when you stopped me, I don't know you and you are asking for my name? Are you a kidnapper?
And don't think it's enough to say 'my name is Emeka' and then you ask me questions from where I was born to where I will die.
It's really funny but maybe boys need to be taught these things. Maybe ' How to 'chyke' a girl' should be included in the curriculum. And I think girls should be taught how to comport themselves with some dignity. Many of the boys do this because other girls have fallen for it.
Back to our lesson
Number 3. State your mission
This is what a lot of guys don't know.
How do you expect a decent girl to trust you enough to let you on her name, origin and even phone number when she doesn't know why you are asking. Again, are you a kidnapper?
There is nothing wrong with telling a lady how you feel about her. But please respect her own feelings too.
Some men are so desperate and some even think it's cool not to take no for an answer. That attitude only turns off decent girls. Don't do it. If she has considered your mission statement and doesn't want to be part of your company, then respect that.
She doesn't want to give you her number, and you coerce it out of her, you've just made a nuisance of yourself 'cause you'll only kill her battery life or if she picks your call, you'll cause her to swear more often.
I don't understand some guys that think we can become friends in one day. They seem not to understand that friendship is earned. It's not something you ask for.
'Can we be friends?' What a cliché! Of course we 'can' be friends, but right now, you are just an acquaintance and can only move up the ladder when you've proven worthy.
And then someone asked me 'how can I earn your friendship?'
You don't learn methods to earn friendship. If not, when you've earned it, you can't keep it 'cause you'll have to learn new methods. You can only be yourself and when the person has known 'you' and appreciates you for who you are, friendship is birthed. So you work on becoming a better you, someone that adds value to people's lives and you won't need to beg for friendship. This text is getting too long. I believe a word is enough for the wise.
A final word: guys, let's be polite guys
girls, let's be decent girls
Follow me on twitter @chidiogoradiant
3 comments:
Haha. No vex. I feel your pain. Funny enough it amazes me too. Wonder how the guys that do it pull it off. Some have even called me "liverless" when I try to question the rationale behind walking up to a girl you ran into on a street you know you might never ply again in your entire life. Anyhow I'll try to work on a proper curriculum on your new course. Wont be a bad idea for us "gifted sort" to revolutionize the education system. :).
Hahaha! Very true.
It’s quite important for Parents to bring this up in the home. Teaching our Children how to speak to and respect each other will go a long way. Dads or Male figures teaching the boys how to treat the Ladies and the Mums also teaching the boys how they’d want to be treated and vice versa might be one of the ways to curb all these irritating explosion of words from some chykers in the next generation.
True @Ginika. Thank you for your comment.
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